I need help - I am so on the fence about this I just don't know what to do. Dave will be 4 the end of October and so we were going to do preschool for him. I think he is ready for the structure and definitely for the learning. I have tried to get him to do somethings with me and I just can't get him to focus when he's with me. He is planned for 2 years of preschool because in NY the cut off is December so technically he could go to kindergarten when he is 4 turning 5 but I think he is too young so we're going to wait until he is 5 turning 6. I registered him in February for the preschool at the YMCA here - my niece when there and had an excellent experience. They have changed their program a little so that it is a 5 day instead of 3 but I am OK with that. It's only 2 hours in the morning. The problem is this: students have to be potty trained. And my darling child is not.  Not even close really. Some days he does great, some days terrible. He rarely (and by rarely I mean I think one time in the last year) goes without being told. He doesn't seem to notice when he pees, whether he has on a pull up, diaper, big boy pants, shorts with no undies or naked legs. He does the best when he is naked, pull ups/diapers are the worst. Sometimes it's kicking and screaming to the bathroom, sometimes he'll go willingly and does great. He's come a long way in the last couple of months, but he's definitely not there yet. He knows about school, we've talked about him going, he asks when we go to the Y if that is where his preschool is. I honestly never thought when I registered him that there was any chance he STILL wouldn't be trained by the time it came around.

The first payment is due Aug 1 and is not refundable if we pull his registration after it's paid. I talked to the director and he said he will waive the late fee and we can just pay the whole thing at Sept 1 if we want to see how he does by then, if he's ready. I just don't know what to do. I am concerned he will be disappointed and his already fragile ego will take a huge hit if we don't go to school after we've been talking about it. I spoke to my aunt and she is willing and eager to do some one on one "school" with him so he gets the learning structure part of it at least until he is ready to go. The school is open enrollment until the class is full, so technically he can join at any time. Maybe we could reevaluate in January and have him join then if he's ready.

I just don't know if  he'll be too overwhelmed by the whole class/teachers/large group setting - he's very shy and reserved until he gets comfortable - that he will be too distracted and even if he is "trained" by then he'll backslide because of the stress or if he will improve by being around other kids who are all trained. So what would you do?

Cancel registration all together?
Hang on to it and hope for the best?
Send him in pull-ups and hope they don't completely undo all our work so far?
Hope that he learns from the others and does better not worse?
Scrap the whole idea since he will have 2 years of preschool anyway before starting kindergarten and not worry about it?

I just can't decide what I think will be best for him - I think he wants to go and I hate to see him disappointed but I also don't want him to get there and get in trouble every day for accidents. I worry about his shyness and the stress being in that large group will be for him anyway. I think it will be good for him to learn to be around others in the long run, I am just afraid the pottying and the school at the same time will be too much. Or he could just surprise me and do great at both. DH says whatever I think, I spend more time with him so have a better idea of his success/failure at the potty thing   Thanks honey, I wanted to actually know what you thought....and I know it's a decision that only DH and I can make but I just don't know and would love some input.....what would you do??? Thanks!!!

How does he feel about Buzz Lightyear? Crazy question I know, but Pull-ups has a number you can text and Buzz will call back and tell him what how proud he is of him and good luck and stuff.

Totally worked for Rea (but we spoke to CInderella)

Text BUZZ to 65579.

I would wait until he's trained...if you can use it as motivation that'd be great, but if he can't get it down in time and then can't go that might crush him. I know it would Eli. I would give it til January. He might be bummed about it but at the same time he probably doesn't understand months/weeks right now so he might not notice the waiting too much.

That's tough. I would think seeing the other kids go would help too, but who knows. I'm trying to figure out what to do with Kaelin next year. I'd like the benefits of preschool, but I don;t know I want to start school so early, especially if we're paying for it! I'm thinking of doing one year of PS before kindergarten but I'm worried she's going to be bored for the next year.

I would love to send Eli to preschool, unfortunately they only have a daycare run one here and it's $$$$$. I nearly fell over when I talked to the lady on the phone. They also have a potty trained rule too and at the time I was thinking about sending him it was right after we moved and he could care less, so that was the end of that.
These boys I tell ya....they are soooooo stubborn!!

Glad to hear you have made a decision. it is always nice to have a weight like that lifted!

Perfect plan