Hi again!

So I have a friend who often comes over with 4 kids to have playdates (3 are hers and one she babysits) I feel like I spend the whole time feeding her children. She never brings anything over to pass around and she never has us over to her home. I really like her, and my kids have a great time with her kids. I know she and her husband struggle financially so I feel guilty saying anything. I end up feeding all her kids (which a 7 year old and 5 year old boy and 3 year old girl) at least once a week and they can really eat! I have tried putting one snack out and making one food for lunch, but then they always end up in the pantry asking for numerous other things, or throwing a tantrum over what is offered for lunch and the Mom just lets them, or ignores it until I give in a give them the food.

My dilemma is what do I do? I don't even mind if she brings a .49 cent box of mac and cheese, but I am always putting out fruits and veggies, along with a lunch and at least one snack and dessert. I obviously cannot feed my kids something and not hers! I am afraid if I say something she will feel bad, or maybe she cannot afford it, but quite frankly I can't afford it either!

How do I say something without hurting my friends feelings or the friendship?


Lynn

Are you inviting her or is she just assuming she can come over and crash your place? That makes a difference to me.
I have really picky kids so I always bring something I know they'll eat. Sounds like hers aren't that way
You said you can't really afford it either, then be a little blunt. Next time tell her like Laura said, I'll make lunch, can you bring a couple snacks? Or suggest that you switch off, one week at your house, you'll make lunch, the next week at her house and she tends to lunch. Or skip lunch all together. Have just a morning or just an afternoon playdate, and one person brings snacks one brings drinks.

Word.

Or make it for a neutral territory, a park, beach or other such public place.
Feed your kids beforehand and bring a cooler of whatever you're comfortable sharing...

It's a tough place to be, but it's cool your kids have fun w/hers and you shouldn't let the food issue come between you.

I've done morning playdates..and they seem to lead right into lunch, unfortunately....as sometimes people come late like 10:30-11am(arrival) so that leads me to make lunch as well..as my kids were hungry at 11:30am.
I think going out to a park, beach, library. IF she's a good friend you could always mention alternating weeks for playdate visits. I'm sure everything will be fine..keep us posted how it all works out.

I think some great suggestions there, so nothing more to add, other than that it's a tricky situation. 

I like the idea of meeting up on neutral territory. For sure you need to be frank with her and tell her while you enjoy her company you can't afford to feed her kids all the time.

 

Good luck and seems to have been a decent change for you all.......